The 90-day Rules

Single ladies, if you saw my earlier post, you know how I feel about cliches and jingles that pass for relationship advice.  Steve Harvey is an easy example since a friend mentions him regularly but it's not just him. These so-called "rules" about how long to wait before sleeping with a man aren't etched in stone. And they're sure not fool-proof.

Check this: I'm not saying you should get intimate with a guy as soon as you meet him but that 90-day rule is no kind of guarantee that he's not a dog.  If you wait 3 months to get it on with a man, if he really is a dog, he already met women 3 months, ago, that is going to lay down with him every day that you don't.

Trust from experience. WE WILL WAIT YOU OUT.

Don't base your decision to sleep with a man on so some arbitrary time rule.  Base it on his behavior over that period of time, if you want, but not on the time, itself.  That may sound like the same thing but feel me on this...

I see ladies, regularly ignoring all the tell-tale signs that a man is not AT ALL interested in their welfare* but they swear by whatever Harveyism gives them the green light to take him home.

I learned, long ago, to do my best (that's all any of us can do) to pay attention to the things that women tell me about themselves - explicitly or otherwise.  It saves a lot of time and trouble. The same is true of men.  We tell you the truths about ourselves in our words OR in our actions (or both).

It's up to you to listen.

* - (like only calling you when the sun sets and his nature rises, running from danger before YOU do, or nodding through your stories of what's happening in your life, without truly listening or giving a damn) 

Skinny

I'd heard that actress, Jennifer Love Hewitt, had been criticized, recently, for looking fat in a bikini. Apparently, this had been going on for some time, but, thankfully, stayed below my radar. From what I hear, she ignored the criticism for some time before finally responding via her blog.

I think she said something about how every woman should love her own body and that a size 2 is not fat. When I heard about this, I had to (mentally) applaud her. I hadn't seen the bikini pix that started this frenzy, if it may be called that, but it seems beyond ridiculous that a young woman, celebrated or otherwise, can't go to the beach without the world criticizing every bump, curve, and jiggle.

Ms. Hewitt encouraged women to keep on wearing their bikinis in spite of the unfair way that women are singled-out and ridiculed for what can barely be categorized as "imperfections." I must agree.

Well, today, I was in Pizza Hut that happened to have the news on and they showed the infamous photo of Ms. Hewitt's backside in a bathing suit.

I'll admit, she wasn't as toned as I've seen her in the past and there were signs of cellulite.

Big. Frickin'. Deal.

I'm sure she's got a pimple somewhere we could freak out about, too, but who gives a damn. I mean, really. How is this news?

Meanwhile, there are a ton of movies and television shows featuring funny, fat, flatulent fuckers with receding hairlines and slack jaws married to visions of womanly perfection that somehow found them to be husband- and father-material.

Look, I leer and ogle with the best of'em, but somewhere there is a line and we have lonnnnnng-since crossed it.

How many men can you think of who are out there starving themselves to skeletal states (or trying) just to be worthy of standing in front of a camera?

*crickets chirping*

Wait, I've got one!
Now, tell me... how many such women can you think of?

























And don't even get me started on the older women starving themselves, injecting their lips, stretching their skin, and losing their minds trying to remain screen-worthy.

Weave Only Just Begun

Within the last day or so, I visited a local store and, as usual, drooled over the cute kids running around doing this and that. One of the kids that stands out in my memory was a little girl I'd guess to have been about six- or seven-years-old.

She was a cute kid, still young enough to have chubby cheeks, but looking less and less like a baby every day, I'd imagine. I also imagine that this has got to be a tough transition for parents. Just from my experiences with cousins and step-siblings, I'm sure it would be hard for me. I want the cute lil rugrats to stay that small and that young for as long as possible.

Maybe that's just because I don't have any children, yet, because a number of parents seem to feel differently. They seem to be trying their best to age their kids beyond their time on this Earth.

Or maybe they're trying to do something else, but either way, it bugs me that so many parents are willing to put weave in their little girl's hair.


That's one of the reasons I remember this little girl. Her hair was braided in a cute hairstyle that was somewhat age appropriate, I guess, but that said, to me, that the hair she had wasn't good enough or long enough or "white" enough or whatever.

Maybe this seems like a stretch to some of you, but I couldn't help using my crystal bal(d head) to look into this family's future. I saw a 14- or 15-year-old young lady trying to convince her parents to let her wear shorter skirts on her bottom, higher heels on her feet, ... and make-up on her face.

I imagined her parents putting their collective foot down, drawing a line, and telling her that she's too young for make-up and these other things that'll change her appearance, make her look older, and/or augment her under-aged assets.

I couldn't help wondering what made hair-weave the exception to the rule.

I'm not even getting into what it means when adults choose to push these up or fluff that out for one reason or another. When a child does it - with the encouragement and economic support of her parents - it concerns me.

Does this mean my future daughter won't be allowed to get a perm until she reaches a certain age... or for as long as she's a minor? I don't know, but I do know how I feel when I see little girls that can hardly speak clearly, doing booty-shaking dance, dressing provocatively, and wearing hair extensions.

I know they won't be kids forever, but can they at least be kids... while they're still kids?

Bad Boys

What is the appeal of the "bad boy?"

They say "Nice guys finish last" and, to a degree, my experience supports this. The guy who holds the door for her gets ignored, even as she walks through the doorway, while the guy who lets the door go, almost hitting her in the face with it, is the one whose baby she has.

Sounds like an exaggeration but I'm guessing many of us HAVE seen the couple where the man's walking ahead, with the mother holding a child in one hand and groceries in the other... and doesn't even bother to hold the door for her.

Oh, you haven't seen that one? I have.

But, with regard to extreme cases or moderate ones, what is the appeal of the "bad boy?"




I don't know if this paradigm exists within the gay community, but fellas, feel free to testify, if you're feelin' it.

"This is FAT?"

Tyra's still bangin'*, at a 161 pounds.
Further proof that you don't need to be a stick figure to have a figure worth stickin'.

Whoops. Did I say that out-loud?
Yes. Yes, I did.

Photo from a recent People Magazine article.



* - from the neck, down, anyway.
Sorry, but she could choose a hairstyle that's more flattering to her cranial endowment.