Friday, August 08, 2008

Ironic Buggin' Out

This won't give the best impression of us or our abode, but...

Just yesterday, I was in a chatroom telling some folks about a big-ass mutant cockroach I'd just smashed. We started talking about pests and I mentioned the poest control dynamite in our home.

I'm the one who takes care of any bug or potential bug in our home because my girlfriend gets the freakin' heeby jeebies. I added however, that in the rare instances that a lizard or something gets in, I'm the one who jumps on the table, holding my skirt out, while my girlfriend goes and grabs the little bugger and sets him free outside somewhere.*

Most are mildly amused by that fact, but a fact it is.

Well, fast-forward to today when I had some errands to run. I grabbed what I needed, jumped on my bicycle, and took off. I was gone for two or three hours, then returned, grabbing some McNasty** along the way. When I got home, I noticed something on the floor.

I looked down to see a dead, upside down lizard, with his guts spilling out while the smell of bug spray filled my nostrils. Yuck.

Helluva coincidence innit?*** Also hella gross.

Best I can figure, the pest control spray I put outside disoriented the lizard and, ironically, lead to him entering our place instead of deterring him. I also gather that, I was so anxious to leave that I didn't notice an upside-down lizard in front of the so I promptly, and quite accidentally, stomped the shit out of it.

Over the next couple of minutes, I sports one of those Peanuts-style gross-out faces, as I grabbed a broom n whatnot to kick the poor lil bastard outdoors. Blech.

Just thought I'd share. Have a great weekend.

* - Whenever possible we opt to eject the creature instead of smooshing it. Ain't that nice?
** - Otherwise known as McDonald's.
*** - It's funny that spell-check pointed out "freakin'" and "heeby jeebies," but ignored "helluva" and "innit."


Alan Scott said...

You two sound like me and my partner. If it's 4 legs or less, it's my problem. This includes lizards, toads, dogs, cats, mutilated birds (thanks to the cat), half-eaten squirrels (gifts from the cat) and snakes.

But if it's more than 4 legs, it's HIS problem. I can't stand those cockroaches or waterbugs with fangs and spikes spitting poison everywhere! EEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!

West said...

Ha! Exactly.

Although, if something starts spitting poison in here, it can HAVE the place!

Liz Dwyer said...

I'm not a fan of anything that crawls or slithers so I'd be freaking out over the lizards and the roaches.

By the way, does borax work on the big cockroaches? It sure seems to kill everything else.