Friday, June 29, 2007

History and Hers

B. Good asked how I met my lady. I'm not sure there's enough material in the answer to warrant an entire blogpost, but I thought I'd give it a shot.

M'lady and I met in college several years back. We were both taking a C++ (computer programming) course and the related lab.

We'd noticed each other and were mutually attracted, but we were both already in committed relationships.

We still made little efforts here and there to get to know each other, though. Mine involved trying to sit near her so I could get to know her a little. Hers involved pretending to need more help than she really did.

The ol' damsel-in-distress thing.

I'd finished my program and was helping our classmates with theirs so she was one of many who asked for my assistance. I didn't have a clue that I was falling for the okey-doke.

We were in lab kinda late that day, so I offered to give her a ride home. We stopped at Subway first, ate, chatted, and discovered how much we had in-common. This intensified the attraction.

We spent a good deal of time avoiding getting TOO close. Meanwhile, years passed. Although, we stayed in touch, on and off, the eventual demise of our respective relationships was independent of our attraction to each other.

That said, we talked quite a bit during my last internship, hundreds of miles away.

Her sweet voice and our long, interesting conversations made my heart grow even more fond of her. By then, I was dying to see her!

When I finally returned to town, I soon resolved to never again be away from her for so long.

She hadn't told me that she'd been in a car accident, until near the end of my time away. In fact, she was concerned that the weight she'd gained due to her limited mobility (it was a bad accident) would turn me off.

Poor thing. "She don't know me vewwy well, do she?!"

The truth was that her added thickness made me even MORE attracted to her! When I FINALLY saw her after being in town for (what felt like weeks and months), I just about gobbled her up!

We've been "going steady" now for six years.


Anonymous said...


Miz JJ said...

So very cute. Six years is a long time. You know what people are going to be asking you next ;-)

Liz Dwyer said...

Further proof that if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. Good for y'all!

Angie said...

That's so sweet. She must be cool with the 6 year thing - so I'm not even going to speak on it. If it works for you do it to death! : )

Anonymous said...

That truly speaks to the virtue of patience. I'm inspired.

Thanks so much for sharing!!

West said...

Thanks, ladies.

Since a couple of you alluded to marriage (and then some), do you feel six years is or would be "too long" for you to be with someone, without the ring?

Just curious.

Anonymous said...

West, you shouldn't ask such questions of a group of ladies unless you have already purchased the ring. As a dude, I say yes it's too long, but then again misery loves company. OK, I'm far from miserable. Marriage like so many other things has it good and bad points but in my opinion the good outweigh the bad. The question I always ask guys is can you see your life without her?

Miz JJ said...

"Do you feel six years is or would be "too long" for you to be with someone, without the ring?"

That depends on the situation. Most of the people I know who got married discussed it beforehand so it was not some big secret that they were getting engaged. Maybe the timing, but the rest of it was discussed. If you have discussed it and are happy waiting then that's all that matters. Plus, ideally it should never be about the ring. It should be about making a commitment to each other. 6 years is a long commitment already. Longer than some marriages!

Anonymous said...

I don't really like the notion that marriage is the be all, end all in relationships. I kind of cringe at those "why aren't yall married YET" statements. I don't think there's a set standard on what is or is not too long to be dating before marriage. It all depends on the folks involved, and what they are comfortable with.

6 years is definitely a lot of time to invest, so......whatever the future holds for you two......hopefully it was/is time well spent.

Anonymous said...

Nothing to say she can't proffer the loop first.

But, (seriously...) if that's the kind of thing that it feels like you're headed toward, skip the ring and place the mortgage papers on top of the Sunday paper.

Anonymous said...

"Going steady" ... you are too cute for words.

Regarding the question ... I don't thin 6 years is too long. If you both are happy with your current situation don't change it. As you know, I've been with B for 4 years and marriage is the furthest thing on my mind right now. I like where we are.