Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Trading Places

Let's say you could trade places with your significant other (or, more generally, with the opposite sex). What would be the first thing you'd do with your newly-acquired physicality?

To paint the picture a little, if you're currently female, you'd become a man - specifically YOUR man, if you're in a relationship. Your man would become female - you, in fact. (And, if you're already a man, ... vice-versa.)

I'd like to hear from the folks that aren't in committed relationships, at the moment, as well. Feel free to switch places with an ex- or an f-buddy or something.

Whatever. The point is, GIVE UP YOUR JUNK, DAMMIT!

Ready? Okay... 1,... 2,... 3,... *SNAP*

So, former-women, now that you're men, what's the first (2nd, 3rd,...?) thing you're going to do?
Former-men, what are you going to do with your newfound femininity?

I'm sure if my girlfriend and I switched places, I'd spent a little too much time "squeezing the Charmin."

I *know* I'd rock the man in the boat and send my significant other on a trip "downtown." I've always been curious about how the she-knob feels... from the other side.

Finally, I'm pretty sure I'd put on the sluttiest crap I could find and then walk through the mall, enjoying my curves and the attention. Unfortunately, though, I'm sure I'd frig-up the make-up and look like a slutty circus clown than anything else.

So, I guess I'd fail miserably as a woman, but I'd have fun doin' it!

Now, having shared MY answer, allow me to share my GIRLfriend's answer to this question (with her permission, of course).

I asked her what she'd do if she and I switched places and, without missing a beat, she said she'd fuck the shit out of me.

Okay, she just said she'd fuck me, but I'm pretty sure her goal would be to boink my brains out. She said she just wants to know what it's like.

For some reason, that cracked me the hell up. (Oddly enough, she might have a helluva time tryin' to get some from me. While I always thought I'd be a promiscuous woman, having been a man first, I don't think I'd be too eager to have anything inside me... woman or not.)

So, what's your answer? I'd love it if people passed this along and, maybe, shared other folks' answers, too.


Miz JJ said...

If I became a dude I would do the basic stuff. First off, I would have to play with the new merchandise. Then of course I would have to get some sex. And since I am not a homophobe I may try it out with a dude and with a chick. Also, I would get into a fight. I would like to see what it would be like to have actual physical strength.

West said...

Heh. Miz JJ's great responses have got me thinking that masculinity is wasted on men.

Although I don't think that not wanting to bone another man makes one a homophobe.

Miz JJ said...

I agree that not wanting to bone another dude doesn't make you a homophobe, but I am into dudes so I think I might like it more than being with a woman. I meant I do not think it is repulsive therefore I would probably try it out.

West said...

That's interesting on so many levels.

One of which is the fact that "male bonding" doesn't gross you out, which is atypical.

Another is that it kinda reminds me of a guy who became a woman, then got with a woman, and considers now she (the former "he") considers herself a lesbian.

Shai said...

Ok, this question is deep. First, I would look at myself in the mirror. Then I would go beat up an ex. Then I would give my boo everything requested.

Anonymous said...

It would be all about the sex for me, for sure. I'm really not all that interested in how boys live there lives...except the part about having an extra appendage. That would be fun.

Shai said...

I forgot I would look at myself naked in a mirror and see why some men pick at their d****. LOL.

Luke Cage said...

Holy shit West..! You cussed man. I don't think I've heard such curt language from you buddy. Then again, you were reiterating what your lady said.. does that count? -lol

Well, if I switched places with the wifey, I would tell off her family members that are always giving her static and grief over moving out of NYC over 15 years ago. They still haven't gotten over that.

Then I'd try to read into all of this hormonal imbalance thing regarding the mood swings and estrogen levels and what not... See if it's really as serious as they all make it out to be.

Then do some real kinky unsavory things to my husband, I mean to me, er.. um, I. hmm, how does that work anyway. I'm her, she's me, we'd do the.. neva mind, but whatever I'd be doing in the form of my lady, I would do it WELL !

West said...

Too funny!

I forgot about the hormonal stuff. Hmm. I'd be curious about that one, m'self.

I always wondered, if the syndrome is pre-menstrual, menstrual, and post-menstrual, what's left? That's who you ARE.

Luke Cage said...