Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Waiting

It probably sounds like the kind of trite crap you only hear from the healthy and wealthy but...

It's amazing how, despite being able-bodied, you can feel trapped in your own body. You feel the need to escape but you're not in prison. You don't know why you can't seem to shake the feeling. And then you realize that it's you.

The emotions swirling around in you and they won't let go. Like being sick with a cold or flu and all you can do is experience every second of it.

 Seething. Crying. Fretting.

Waiting.

In my case, it's "seething." I'm so upset that I can hardly make sense of it.

And I think this, all of this that I just described,... is the price of civility.

Don't cuss'em out. Turn the other cheek. Don't give them ammunition. He's not worth it.

And then the emotions you suppressed, repressed, and compressed deep down in you are fighting to get out. Aching to burst free and let out every drop of bile you can muster.

That's how I'm feeling, right now. And all I can do is wade through it and wait for it.

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