What is the appeal of the "bad boy?"
They say "Nice guys finish last" and, to a degree, my experience supports this. The guy who holds the door for her gets ignored, even as she walks through the doorway, while the guy who lets the door go, almost hitting her in the face with it, is the one whose baby she has.
Sounds like an exaggeration but I'm guessing many of us HAVE seen the couple where the man's walking ahead, with the mother holding a child in one hand and groceries in the other... and doesn't even bother to hold the door for her.
Oh, you haven't seen that one? I have.
But, with regard to extreme cases or moderate ones, what is the appeal of the "bad boy?"
I don't know if this paradigm exists within the gay community, but fellas, feel free to testify, if you're feelin' it.
11 comments:
Well, I think its akin to the "lady in the streets, freak in the sheets" mantra many men live by. Women think that the "bad boy" will put it on 'em behind closed doors. And he probably does. Only problem is, he's missing the first half of that statement. He's not the "gentleman in the streets" that women have in mind. And unfortunately, "penis" (can I type that?) is a powerful thing. You heard about that crazy Astronaut lady. She was SPRUNG! Too often these ladies get caught up off the good D. Not saying its right, or that its smart, lol. It just is what it is.
I think its mental. You know, perception is reality. So if women would tell themselves that all the nice guys have the good D, maybe things would change. *shrugs*
Ha!
Awesome commentary, BG.
I do not think that women like bad guys. I was going to do a blog on this one day. I think that so-called nice guys are not as nice as they think they are. They are boring, or corny, or have issues with commitment, or have some other defect. Honestly, I think this idea that women do not like nice guys is not necessarily true. I did like B.Good's answer as well.
Most bad boys have self-confidence and will smile and maybe even talk to a lady when they hold a door open for them.
Most "nice guys" don't.
It isn't a hard and fast rule, but it's true surprisingly often.
miz jj: If your experience and observations are different, I can respect that.
david brothers: The confidence factor, eh? Interesting point.
Question to all: Do you think it's also true that many women fail to resolve the difference between what their minds want and what the rest of them craves?
Is it really all about the D? I mean, something attracts her to the guy before she even gets the D, right?
I don't know. I have a nice guy and I just LOVE him. He's a true gentleman and he had the self confidence to spare.
Question to all: Do you think it's also true that many women fail to resolve the difference between what their minds want and what the rest of them craves? ?
I don't think this is a condition that only applies to women. I think that at points in all our lives we struggle with what is good for us and what is just plain good.
re: chele's "I don't think this is a condition that only applies to women. I think that at points in all our lives we struggle with what is good for us and what is just plain good."
I think you're right. I didn't mean to suggest otherwise.
I just wondered if folks feel this resolution is largely needed, with regard to the "Bad Boy Syndrome."
I use to think that nice guys finish list to these supposed bad boys. What I think really happens is that the bad boy persona is more salient. Their hustle is more in your face, you dig? Everything about them is right there on the surface, in my opinion. Leaves nothing to the imagination.
Am I suggesting that women don't care to investigate and get to know someone, otherwise? Not at all. I'm just thinking from the root to the fruit, the thing that everyone gets down with initially is what they see and hear. If it's up in your grill unavoidably, you may be more susceptible to take notice. Also, the more it's in your face, the less likely you are to question what could be, behind the scenes.
What happened to my post, Blogger??
*deep breath*
Ok, what I had said was...
I think it's a matter of intrigue. Nice guys are (wrongly) perceived as boring and predictable. Also, maybe the motherly instinct kicks in (along with the hope of future pride) when a woman thinks about 'taming' a man or making him better.
What about those who stay in abusive relationships. There's a psychological lock there that I don't fully understand but obviously exists. This phenomenon must also exist in the relationship where the guy lets the door alomst hit his girl in the face but she has his baby.
Weird. Apparently, my post to Clarence didn't stick, either.
Clarence: You're probably right that a certain amount of confidence and active interest plays a role.
Shelly: Ahh. The challenge of taming.
A psychological lock, huh? I suppose so. She either perpetually thinks the treatment she receives is good enough or that it's going to get better.
I just got out of a relationship with a self described "niec guy", and Ive dated several "nice guys" as well, and I can tell you, they have their problems and issues just like everyone else. Its just that "bad boys'" faults are far more visable. So, I agree with a few of the women above, lol.
L
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