Tuesday, August 08, 2006

PARODY POST - viperteq's "Catering to You"

My homie viperteq has a great post about catering to your significant others' needs. I’m nothing like viper; I'm Repressive, but Outspoken all at the same time. I ain't 'bout trying and experiencing new things and I damn-sure don't want no traditional type marriage and family. So, for my future Queen out there in the world, where ever she may be, this is what I promise that I will do if I ever find a sistah like the one that viper serenades. I promise to:

  • Never take out the garbage.
  • Always piss directly on the toilet seat and leave it down after using the bathroom.
  • Never leave the bathroom without making sure that there is an empty cardboard core of toilet tissue on-hand.
  • Take you out on a date at least 3 times. Period.
  • Always leave my clothes in random places of the house after changing.
  • Drop the baby(ies) off twice a week so you can get some "me" time... with me.
  • Make you stronger by always eating Ice Cream or other fattening foods in front of you when you go on that diet.
  • Always keep it real, by lettin' the kinfolk or the baby(ies) see me drunk or buzzing.
  • Never ask you to iron a shirt for me 10 minutes before I’m supposed to walk out of the door. Eleven minutes, TOPS!
  • Always make sure that I orgasm at least 4 times a week. What? I got mine. GET YOURS!

Well, I think that about covers it. If I think of anything else, i’ll be sure to add it to the list…

Allright, ladies, don't all line up, at once!

6 comments:

Diva (in Demand) said...

See....I do a nice post and y'all jack it! Just wrong. LOL And how are you just not going to take out the trash dang. LOL

West said...

If you leave it there, long enough, it'll take itself out! :p

chele said...

Yeah ... you'll need a catcher's mitt for all the new ________ that'll be coming your way. (The Best Man, 1999) LOL

West said...

lol @ Diva and chele

"It's 'bout to be a ho-asis, up in heah." ~also from THE BEST MAN

Blah Blah Blah said...

*smh...West West West*
I know your not serious...so I ain't even going to comment.

West said...

re: "*smh...West West West*
I know your not serious...so I ain't even going to comment."


:p

I'm glad you all caught that. I just knew somebody (maybe a newbie) was gonna miss the "parody" part.