Friday, July 07, 2006

Would you 'get with' your friend?

With a nod to nikki's recent post and my response, earlier, I've gotta ask:

"If you were seriously crushing on a friend, would you speak up to him or her?"


asdf said...

When I was younger, no. Now that I'm older, why the hell not. Love's not the easiest thing to find, so if you have chance you better take it.

West said...


Don't get me wrong. I really value friendship - a LOT.

But if there's a decent chance of something real, then I'm likely to go for it.

Hell, back in the day, I went for the "unreal" stuff, too.

But, I'm out of the game, so this remains purely hypothetical.

nikki said...

if my situation were happening today, i'd still not tell. yes, i'm a coward. i would hope the feelings die so that i could find someone else. LOL

West said...

nikki: So, it's not about wanting to preserve the friendship so much as a fear of rejection?

chele said...

In the past, I've crushed on a friend ... we pursued it ... it didn't work and thankfully we're still friends. It doesn't always work out that way though. It was difficult to get past the romantic stuff and get back to being buddies. It took a while. I wouldn't recommend this to the faint of heart.

West said...


For the most part, I've been able to maintain positive relationships or at least associations with people after having been intimate.

Now that I think about it, though, it's hard to think of very many examples in which we were just friends, for a long while, and then got nasty.

I don't know.

I'll keep thinking about it, but I'm confident that I wouldn't let friendship stop me.

Luke Cage said...

Twice I have told a sista who were long time friends that I was feeling them more than platonic. 1 time we pursued it and it worked out, the other time the sista didn't want to risk messing up the friendship but didn't mind that I had stepped to her about it. I never regretted coming forward either time. Hell man, life's a risk. Just throw caution to the wind and go for it! The worst that can happen is, it doesn't work out.

West said...

Luke Cage's commented reminded me of a friend from high school that I kept in contact with, post-graduation.

I had a nice lil crush on her, but either she wasn't feeling me or she was in a relationship. I don't recall which, but I summoned up the courage to let her know what I was (or maybe what I'd felt, previously).

In either case, she knew that I saw the potential for more there. Ultimately, the sky didn't fall and the world didn't come to an end.

And, for that matter, neither did our years-long friendship.