Leave MJ alone

The latest installment of Erik Larsen's One Fan's Opinion column, the esteemed Fan suggests that Marvel needs to have Peter and Mary Jane divorce:

'Besides, part of what's missing by having Peter married to a supermodel is that he's no longer a "loser" and nothing says "loser" like having your wife leave you.'

I disagree. Rather strongly, too.

First of all, just like folks say that Superman shouldn't be so damned "super" that he's unrelatable, Spidey shouldn't be a man with such awful luck that, instead of feeling sorry for him, we're disgusted by him. His life shouldn't have to turn to utter crap for him to wear the funky jammies.

Secondly, even if being a loser IS an integral part of who Spidey or Peter is, that doesn't mean he's got to be divorced. There are plenty of married losers out there. Don't ask me to start naming names CUZ I WILL! No, really, "married" does not equal "winner." If you think that, maybe you and your mom need some space because she's apparently got too much of an influence over you.

And, finally, why have to break them up? Spidey and MJ have been married since I was a kid, hoping that Mom or Dad would pull the car over to a convenience store and let me at least look THROUGH the comics, if not buy me a handful.



NO, not THAT damned long ago, ya bastids, but it's been a long frickin' time. Spidey's had some decent levels of popularity during that time, so a wedding ring ain't necessarily the four-color deal-breaker some might think.

If Peter being married to a "supermodel" is such a doggone problem, let's not overreact to that by going all Women in Refrigerators on MJ's ass. I know Mr. Larsen said we didn't have to kill MJ off, but even mentioning that as viable option bugged me. Just thought I'd address it.

That doesn't leave us with divorce as the only option. If her being a supermodel is a problem, then stop her from being a supermodel. Her in-story success is completely dictated by Marvel. She could drop in popularity and be however much of a perfect loser-mate folks need her to be (besides still being sexy, I suppose).

The point is that there are a lot of options out there and the Spider-man franchise isn't in such a sad, sorry state that we've got to take the most extreme option to rectify things.


Spider-Man is a man with the "powers" of a spider. His real name is Peter Parker. He regrets not having made the right choices, in his life, with regard to the people who have been there for him, the most. He's so driven to make up for the loss of his Uncle (which he can never do, of course), that he sacrifices his own happiness, sometimes, for the sake of others.

Spider-Man can be all of this and more. Turning him into that guy from that tv series who always had the worst luck isn't gonna help.

Don't know what show I mean? Yeah, that's the point.






(For those of you keeping score, at home, it starred that big-eyed brother* from the NBC television show, Wings. EDIT: Ahh, Steven Weber's his name.)




* - in the familial sense, not the "Black power" sense.