Low Expectations

It's time to raise the bar.

Chris Rock had a bit where he'd complain about the compliments folks had for Colin Powell and others like, "He speaks so well. He's so well-spoken." Rock's response was more or less that "'Speaks so well' is some shit you say about reTARDded kids that can talk", not a well-educated man.

He also mentioned sorry-ass parents who say things like, "I take care of my kids," as if that's exceptional. He referred to these kinds of people as "low-expectation-having mothafuckas."

However apt that descriptor may have been in the above cases, it is at least doubly-so with regard to how regular folks treat each other - and thus, how they expect to be treated. People are amazed by the simplest acts of kindness from others because apparently, such behavior is rare.

That's... kinda sad.

I remember, in college, having some female friends admit to having had crushes on me and/or having thought that I'd had crushes on them. I was very surprised, flattered, and baffled by this. When I asked what made them think that I had a crush on them, here's what I was told:

"West, you make girls think you like them because you look at them when they talk to you and you listen and pay attention to what they say."

. . .

That's right, folks. Apparently, that's something that people only do when they're interested in you romantically... or wanna get into your pants, I guess.

Or maybe my friends were saying that that's behavior they don't expect from guys, in particular. In either case, it's a sad state of affairs and one that I suspect continues, to this day.

My disgust with this situation is compounded by the fact that I really dislike being misunderstood - especially by women who respond rather rudely to what they perceive as my "advances." (This happened, yesterday, so it popped into my head, just now.) After randomly and casually making eye-contact with a stranger, I felt obligated to acknowledge her presence by saying, "Hi," or something. She broke eye-contact and never said a word in-response. My impression was that she thought I was yet another guy trying to push up on her and she didn't want to encourage me in any way.

Pardon my digression, but look, a lot of heterosexual guys are prepared for a certain amount of rejection from women. It more or less comes with the territory - especially since certain male assholes fuck it up for the rest of us. But, not only would we prefer clear and polite rejection, we'd really like it if we only received it when we were actually stepping to someone.

There's nothing like being silently told, "I don't want to sleep with you," by someone you never approached. Extra points for the fact that, not only didn't I approach this woman, I never would've approached her. Hell, part of my motivation for speaking to her was the fact that she was so screw-faced that I thought a moment of casual kindness might be a tiny bright spot in her day.

So, I repeat, it'd be nice if we all treated each other a bit better so that our expectations would be a bit higher.

Otherwise, the day will come when I'll be convinced some chick is diggin' me... because she didn't stomp my nuts to mush at first-glance.

WTF?!