Friday, August 04, 2006

How is your family different from most?

It's been a while since I've seen this put to the test, but I don't think the men in our family have a problem with kissing their sons and nephews (and vice-versa.)

When I was a kid, I'd kiss my Pops and I still would (if we could stand to be in the same state long enough), even though I'm a grown man. Again, though, I don't know if he still feels like he did when I was a kid. Any displays of affection seem to make him uncomfortable, these days.

So, I guess I should put this stuff in the past tense.

In general, though, we're the kissing-est damned family I've ever seen.


In what ways do you (or others) think your family is unusual?

7 comments:

chele said...

My parents were not affectionate with us at all. Ironically, we (me and my siblings) are very affectionate with our children. Hugs and kisses abound on a daily basis.

My mother is an only child and raised by her very strict grandparents. I don't think she knows how to be affectionate. My dad has 10 brothers and sisters. They'll fight anyone in the street for you but they won't give you a hug in private. Very strange dynamic.

West said...

Wow. That's deep.

Extremes (of either sort, too much or too little of something) can result in a child repeating the behavior, as an adult, or resisting the urge to do so. I think it's pretty cool that you and your siblings went the second route.

My family's so affectionate that one that's as different as you describe is very hard for me to imagine, on some levels.

I see what you mean about that dynamic, too. Thanks for sharing that.


(Btw, why do you think you all were able to flip-the-script with your own kids... if you don't mind me asking?)

asdf said...

In my family it depends on the person. You have my dad and brother who think don't want to do anything more then hug, although my dad kissed me and hugged me goodnight until about 6th grade.

My dad's mom just gives hugs.

Then my mom's mom does the hug and kiss on the cheek. Her dad will give me like 14 year long hugs.

I have an Uncle that will kiss me on the cheek.

And everyone else gets a hug if they are a woman, and a handshake if they are a gay.

I'm not opposed to any hugs or kisses, but somehow we all have an understood protocol.

West said...

That's a trip, Doug.
It's really something how you were apparently already aware of the minute details of these various protocols.

Luke Cage said...

I'm the middle of 5 siblings and 3 of us, me included are very affectionate. To eachother and to our significant others. In fact, I've always been touchy feely when it came to my relationships with my girlfriends. I love that..

But I suppose my siblings and I are different in a way where some of us don't know how to stay in contact with eachother. Its always one or two of us that can pick up the phone, go visit and travel long distances to visit the others.. but unfortunately, that mentality isn't shared by all.

Funny thing is, when we do finally get together for Thanksgiving or something like that, incredibly, you'd never see that there's this void in the fam. In fact, its as if we'd been close like that all along. Very comical man..

chele said...

West: I can't speak for all my siblings, but I know that when I became an adult I felt like I missed out on something. I saw people who had these really close relationships with their parents and I wanted one but didn't know how to get one. So I decided that if I couldn't have it with my parents, then I would have it with my kids.

West said...

re: "I saw people who had these really close relationships with their parents and I wanted one but didn't know how to get one. So I decided that if I couldn't have it with my parents, then I would have it with my kids."

That's really sweet.