Friday, July 27, 2007

Chair Scare

One evening, I was working (or playing) on the laptop, sitting at the dining room table. I got up to do something in the bedroom, then returned to the same seat as before.

The dining room was dark (my girlfriend had been watching a movie, but paused it for a phone call), but I didn't have any problems finding my seat or sitting in it properly. I'd been stressed out and ill over the previous months, so I'd actually lost about 20 pounds or so.

I say all of that because I have no explanation for this:


At first, I was so confused, I wasn't sure what the hell had happened. After a second or two, I realized the wooden chair I was sitting in was now a pile of firewood beneath my sore arse. The damned chair had broken and then broken, some more, which was why I found myself losing altitude in two stages.

Like I said, I wasn't sure what happened, at first, so I just kinda sat there gathering my wits... the few I had left, anyway. My girlfriend was on the phone with her dad and I think even HE heard the damned chair spontaneously implode!

There's no punchline to this story. Now that it's been a few weeks and my ass has stopped hurting, I thought I'd share the details of this surreal event. My girlfriend's father ended up fixing the chair, which seems to be in good shape, at this point.

We still have no clue, though, why it broke. It's a good solid, wooden chair - in the same shape as every other wooden chair at this table. I wasn't leaning back in it, I wasn't aware of any cracks in it, and I certainly wasn't any heavier than I'd been in recent memory - quite the opposite, in fact.

I meant to take a picture of the kindling that used to be and eventually re-became our dining room chair, but I forgot. I guess it's just as well, though. My ass is hurting, just telling this story to you.

Have a good weekend.


Angie said...

1. Did the chair break before or after you were laughing at the "slow kids" ? LOL

2. Did your girlfriend laugh?

3. Did you cry? You know how I feel about crying.....LOL! : )

West said...

1) The "slow kids" thing was over a decade, ago. The chair broke last month, I think.

2) If so, she was kind enough not to do so to my face.

3) Hell, no! I bent over and asked for more... err, I mean...

B. Good said...

"The damned chair had broken and then broken, some more, which was why I found myself losing altitude in two stages."

BWAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh......oh......I'm comin' home to ya Elizabeth! LOL *snort*


Glad you and the chair are alright, West.