1) I like it when a woman's butt is so big, you can see it from the front.*
Ever seen one of those? Truly a wonder to behold as it attracts all disciplines: The physicists wonder how it defies gravity, the perverts wonder if they can help hold it up, and the fashionistas wonder how she found jeans to fit it.
Being the nigh-renaissance man that I am, I covered all those bases.
2) Some gifts look better wrapped than unwrapped. Booties are no exception.
I hate a pimply booty. I dated someone, once, who was tiny and her cute little booty... was all bumpy.
I might've been able to deal with that, if she didn't sound like Michel'lé. (Speaking-, not singing-, voice)
3) Quit tuggin' on that skirt.
You knew your ass was hanging out of it when you left the house. Stop being self-conscious and just enjoy the breeze, while we enjoy the view.
* - Within reason, of course.
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