Friday, November 03, 2006

Telemarketer Takedown

So, I was at work and I got a call. I answered my phone and heard the following recording:

"Hi, guys. This is Dorothy, at The Mortgage Branch..."

I've heard this before (and apparently, I'm not the only one) and knew that, at some point, I'd be given the option to press a button to speak to a real, live individual. I do so.

"How may I help you?"

"What company is this?"

"The Mortgage Branch. Are you interested in low-financing for your home?"

"No. I'm interested in you taking this number off your list, since this is a business."


I should've known better. In fact, I *do* know better, as I've tackled similar situations in the past.

Just like a recent phone harrassment example I shared with you, the best way I think that we can get these people to stop calling us... or to, at least, distinguish between businesses and homes, is to impact their bottom-line.

Now, I can't reach directly into their pockets but, as the saying goes, "time is money." So, the next time I get a call like that, I'll do what I've done in the past and pretend to be interested... very interested. In fact, I'm planning to present them with a counterfeit trifecta: very interested, very naive, and very rich.

I plan to invest at LEAST five to ten minutes in this, but I might drag it out even longer, depending on the circumstances. If possible, I'll even tell them I've got to run because the new maid is having trouble ... with whatever, and see if I can get a number to call them back.

If I can, that'd be gold. You know the next step, from there is to harrass them directly and incessantly, as well as to use that number to locate and target them for further action.

If I can't get a number from them, though, I'll just waste some more of their time then, finally, after trying their patience with two metric tons of stalling tactics, I'll tell them that I'm not the least bit interested in their scam* and they can... <>... my left... <> with a <> on top.

It's important that they know that their time was wasted. Once these jobs become more difficult, I believe these people will demand better call lists from their supervisors, demand the ability to remove numbers from those call lists, and/or quit. I'm really hoping for that last one.

If nothing develops from this, at least I'll know that I tore a piece from their hides for the inconvenience I suffered from them.

* - Oh yes. Didn't I mention that the links I found on Google suggest that this isn't even a legitimate business, but is, in fact, a telemarketing SCAM meant to snatch up your change?! Ain't dat a %@^^?!


princessdominique said...

Funny I approach them the same way. Saying no thank you and hanging up makes them call back, especially if you haven't specifically asked them to remove the number. Craziness.

Luke Cage said...

Oh man, my whole comment disappeared. Okay, lets do this again. I sent you an e-mail for the telemarketer exclusion list. We don't get no telemarketer calls because of this registry list and we put all of our phones on it. Cells and home #'s too.

I hate it though that you get all the fun too man. I'd like in on that just to be able to mess with them!

Miz JJ said...

Since I cut off my home phone I get no telemarketer calls. It's great.

West said...

re: "Since I cut off my home phone I get no telemarketer calls. It's great."

This was at work.

courtneyelizabeth said...

I've ALWAYS wanted to do that to "Dorothy's" ass...imma consider that tonight...when she calls conveniently during dinner...