There are the many (but not all) women who are so sure that we just want their panties, that they won't entertain any other possibilities... and ruin the potential encounter or relationship by dousing it in pessimism and cynicism.I'm not sure how long it's been since I last mentioned the following example of the above, so forgive me if this is too repetitious:
I remember seeing a young lady in the university career center and being impressed by the way she carried herself. She wasn't "dressed to the nine" and she wasn't shakin' a lotta bacon, but she gave off a vibe of competence and intelligence that kinda intrigued me.
What I think some ladies forget, on occasion, is the fact that the window of opportunity is much more narrow, at times, that we might like. We may not be afforded the luxury of an extended getting-to-know-you before getting-to-know-you period.
Sometimes, you see someone who piques your curiosity and you simply must not let that moment pass. That's how I felt, then.
Anyway, I watched her a little, as she went about her business and I went about mine. By the time I was done, I'd decided that this lady might be a source of interesting conversation and I wanted to at least approach her. If nothing came of it, at least it wouldn't be for lack of effort on my part.
I stepped to her, introduced myself, and, in short order, told her that I was interested in her and would like to get to know her better. Nothing too special. As I said on nikki's blog, I have no game. Either the lady is interested and willing or she isn't.
I told her that I'd like to take her to dinner, some time (because I wanted conversation AND food, doggonit). She looked pretty surprised, but she agreed to go out with me. (Honestly, I understand that there are certain safety concerns, especially with a stranger, but we could've agreed to meet at the restaurant.)
Fast-forward to the agreed-upon date (I'm sure we talked on the phone at some point, to arrange a date and time) and I was picking her up at her apartment complex. I'm sure I held the door open for her, then we had a fairly short drive to wherever we went - Red Lobster or some steak place, I think.
It quickly became apparent that something just wasn't clicking. Conversation wasn't flowing all that well. Admittedly, if I start running my mouth, I'm not very good about putting food in it, but I tried to find a nice balance between the two.
Something about her manner seemed to say, "I know you think you're slick, but I'm gonna enjoy this food and tip-toe right around your game."
The meal was fine, I guess, but the company didn't do it for me. Something just felt wrong.
After we were done, I took her home. By this time, it was dark, so I got out to open her door/walk her to her apartment. She told me that wasn't necessary and by this time, I'd figured out that she'd assumed I was all about trying to catch some panties - not even.
I insisted, but kept my distance. (While I wanted to respect her privacy and space, I did NOT want something to happen to her "on my watch." As long as I saw her to her front door, I could rest well, that night.)
After getting to the top of the stairs, I stopped, because I knew she'd still be in-sight AND I wanted to make it clear to her that I was NOT trying to welcome myself into her home. As soon as she unlocked her door (and bolted inside, like someone was after her lunch-money), I was on my way back down the stairs... all but fuming over the fact that this woman had made me feel like some kind of predator, simply for being interested in her personality and concerned about her safety.
I got back to my truck and headed home, still feeling a bit pissed as I thought about the fact that, before the evening was done, I'd asked about calling her or us going out, again (I figured that, with time or a change in venue, things might turn out better), and she responded by telling me to give her a call in a few weeks or so.
Damn. The brush-off.
Well, in a few days, or so (a couple of weeks, maybe?), she called me - much to my surprise.
I hadn't called her or heard from her in the interim. She wondered if we could go to the movies or dinner or something.
Without missing a beat, I responded by telling her to give me a call in a few weeks.
Now, maybe she realized that her suspicions about her were unfounded. Maybe she, like I, thought that things might be better if we saw a movie or something.
Ultimately, I figured that she'd shown little interest in anything other than freebies and showing off the padlock on her panties. I saw no reason to think anything had changed.
I'm sure though that, right about now, she's sitting around with a group of like-minded girlfriends, going on about how there are no good (Black) men left and that all we want a the drawls/draws/drawers... without ever mentioning the fact that she runs them off with cynicism and suspicion.