Your Man, Not His Mistress

Question for the ladies: If you had a dog who kept digging holes everywhere, to bury his bones, would you get pissed at the yard or the dog?

Really?

Okay. Picture it. Somewhere, U.S.A., 2005. Renee finds out that Malik is givin' Stella her groove back. Renee gets pissed at Stella and tells her off or kicks her ass. The problem? Malik is NOT Renee's man. Maybe he used to be or maybe she just wishes he were, but all that is beside the point.

Women, why the HELL are you flipping out over somebody who doesn't want you? And if you're gonna flip out, why do it WITH the one he DOES want? Get over it. Move on. That shit may not be easy, but it's damned-sure better than a Jerry Springer-style throw-down that ends with two grown-ass women missing chunks of hair and sporting ripped clothes (bonus points if a titty makes an appearance at some point). Meanwhile, all of this leaves you with a smug-ass man feeling like he's the king of the world!

Some women don't come to blows, but they do silly shit like calling the other woman and cursing her out or stressing themselves into a depression from obsessing about the other woman.

In either case, these women are deluding themselves into thinking that Stella's the problem when the REAL problem is that OL' BOY AIN'T YO' MAN... and you're too immature to take it like a WOman. That's sad and it diminishes us all.

Check your watch, chick. It's time to grow the fuck up.



Now, let's say Malik IS your man. As far as I'm concerned, that doesn't change a damned thing.

I'm sure it's got to be tough when the person you dig digs on someone else. If you're in a relationship it's probably even harder. I'm sure there's rage and frustration you feel the need to rapid-fire at the mo-fo who hurt you. Let me tell you something, though. That mo-fo is Your Man, Not His Mistress.

Too many women, specifically Black women (in my experience) get pissed at some other woman for taking her man. I'm sorry, but your man is not a purse or a car your left the key in. Nobody STOLE him. He's a grown-ass man who made a choice to pursue someone or to give in to someone else's pursuit of him, despite his commitment to you. Mm.

Did you catch that? His choice is the key. If you MUST vent your frustration to someone other than a friend or confidante, focus on the person(s) who betrayed your trust. That's Your Man, Not His Mistress. If he got with your best friend or sister (or brother), then that person betrayed you, too. Feel free to step to either or both of them, if you really feel the need to, but if your man got with someone you're not close to, then that person didn't betray you. She just let him get in where he fit in, so to speak. Hell, that may be what you did to get his ass in the first place. There will ALWAYS be some other female somewhere willing to bed your man. You need to accept that. Unfortunately, I'm *sure* some woman, somewhere's reading this*, saying, "Bullshit. When I kick that bitch's ass, she'll leave my man alone so he can come back to me!"

Newsflash for ya, Queen B: "You could kick the ass of every woman in town (assuming none of them succeed in kicking yours) and he'd STILL be a damned dawg. He'll just find somewhere else to bury his bone."

Now, think about that first question, again.



Comments?





* - Let's pretend people actually DO read this, mmkay?