tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18002888.post115470185526586840..comments2023-09-30T06:07:27.416-04:00Comments on Questioning Semantics: Manners: Is it a North/South thing?Westhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06305755944694741335noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18002888.post-1154776825651365802006-08-05T07:20:00.000-04:002006-08-05T07:20:00.000-04:00Doug: I admit that there's some value in that phil...<B>Doug:</B> I admit that there's <I>some</I> value in that philosophy, but there's a clear and necessary distinction between the things that other people do and the way that one chooses to react.<BR/><BR/>Reacting casually may reap certain benefits (sometimes), but it doesn't divest the other person of his or her culpability and responsibility.<BR/><BR/>In other words, if grown-up is running around like a nut and stomps my big toe, I may not choose to donkey-punch the bastard, but that doesn't mean he didn't deserve to be held responsible for the incident.Westhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06305755944694741335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18002888.post-1154723614669294652006-08-04T16:33:00.000-04:002006-08-04T16:33:00.000-04:00re: "Common courtesy ain't rocket science for good...re: <B>"Common courtesy ain't rocket science for goodness sake."</B><BR/><BR/>Sometimes, it's hard to tell.<BR/><BR/>Great quote, btw.Westhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06305755944694741335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18002888.post-1154722872864843842006-08-04T16:21:00.000-04:002006-08-04T16:21:00.000-04:00I don't think standards of decency can be compared...I don't think standards of decency can be compared to tastes in music. I don't think there are many gray areas when it comes to treating people in a decent manner. Common courtesy ain't rocket science for goodness sake.chelehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15468273174800571759noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18002888.post-1154711292443740842006-08-04T13:08:00.000-04:002006-08-04T13:08:00.000-04:00re: "I suppose there would have to be a clear defi...re: <B>"I suppose there would have to be a clear definition of what is rude behavior and what is not. There are some things that are blatantly rude but than there is always that gray area."</B><BR/><BR/>Agreed - Person A's standards of decency, as compared to those of Person B. <BR/><BR/>But, to me, responding to someone's concerns about rudeness by saying, "so what" speaks more to an absence of such standards. I guess I could deal with a difference of opinion regarding the definition of rude behavior more than I can deal with the idea that such standards do not or should not exist.<BR/><BR/>That person was saying that different standards of decency (i.e. manners) are like different tastes in music. Obviously, I don't see it that way.<BR/><BR/>re: <B>"I think to walk by someone and not speak is rude. Many folks disagree."</B><BR/><BR/>At work, or somewhere that I'll see the same people over and over, throughout the day, I only feel the need to speak, occasionally - usually the first time I see them, and them random moments after that.<BR/><BR/>I've got a co-worker, though, who'll walk in the office, walk right past me, and regard me about as much as he does the paintings on the wall. That's some rude shit. (He's GOOD n Southern, btw. So again, I admit that it's not purely regional.)<BR/><BR/>re: <B>"I think it's rude for a person not to hold a door open for another person. Again, many folks disagree."</B><BR/><BR/>When I'm walking out of a door and someone's behind me, I don't want the door to catch'em in the face, so I hold it until they exit or until I see that they're ready for it. I hope others will extend the same courtesy to me, but it's becoming more and more rare.<BR/><BR/>When I get off the elevator, I feel that whomever's waiting to get ON the elevator ought to let me exit before he or she enters.<BR/><BR/>re: <B>"Trust me, I have a whole list."</B><BR/><BR/>Same here. We should compare lists, some time.<BR/><BR/>re: <B>"I lived in CT for 28 years before I moved to the semi-south (VA) and I have found that overall the people in the south are more well-mannered, more friendly and more hospitable."</B><BR/><BR/>I've lived in the South for almost all of my life, but the times I've up North have almost always been heavily peppered with moments where I was truly shocked at the level of rudeness I encountered. Obviously, it happens here, in Florida, as well, but it's often of a different variety and frequency.<BR/><BR/>A lot of Northerners-turned-Southerners have been pretty rude and a lot of Southerners-turned-Northerners have been pretty kind to me (though there are always exceptions).<BR/><BR/>Too often, objections to unkind behavior are blindly dismissed as over-sensitivity. *shrugs*Westhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06305755944694741335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18002888.post-1154707479299194342006-08-04T12:04:00.000-04:002006-08-04T12:04:00.000-04:00I suppose there would have to be a clear definitio...I suppose there would have to be a clear definition of what is rude behavior and what is not. There are some things that are blatantly rude but than there is always that gray area.<BR/><BR/>I think to walk by someone and not speak is rude. Many folks disagree.<BR/><BR/>I think it's rude for a person not to hold a door open for another person. Again, many folks disagree. Trust me, I have a whole list.<BR/><BR/>I lived in CT for 28 years before I moved to the semi-south (VA) and I have found that overall the people in the south are more well-mannered, more friendly and more hospitable.chelehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15468273174800571759noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18002888.post-1154705424229530942006-08-04T11:30:00.000-04:002006-08-04T11:30:00.000-04:00re: "The standards of decency DO vary from person ...re: <B>"The standards of decency DO vary from person to person West. I've found out from personal experience that people I talk to in the "same city" ..."</B><BR/><BR/>Like I said, I recognize that there are rude locals, as well.<BR/><BR/>re: <B>"...and not so much region can actually vary drastically. I hold tremendous weight in the way someone says something as well as what they are saying. I don't think there's that much difference between the two, but that is me. I don't think the New Yawka's comment was actually him saying how we speak is irrelevant per se.<BR/><BR/>I think he was saying, hey that's just the way it is, what can I do but to accept it and keep it moving? See there? That could be exactly what you are referring to right there. One phrase, taken and understood in 2 totally different perspectives."</B><BR/><BR/>Two people were in an argument. One was saying that the other was being rude. "The New Yorker" responded by saying, "so what."<BR/><BR/>Sure, people can interpret things in a variety of ways, but when I say, "so what," I'm responding to what I consider to be an irrelevant statement. I think that's how it's most commonly used.<BR/><BR/>re: <B>"In the end, you are probably right. There probably isn't much any of us can do about it."</B><BR/><BR/>Maybe I overstated, before. I think we <I>can</I> do something about it. I just don't think we will.<BR/><BR/>Some things we just won't understand. Others we'll just rationalize or ignore until they stop annoying us.Westhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06305755944694741335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18002888.post-1154703941039906442006-08-04T11:05:00.000-04:002006-08-04T11:05:00.000-04:00The standards of decency DO vary from person to pe...The standards of decency DO vary from person to person West. I've found out from personal experience that people I talk to in the "same city" and not so much region can actually vary drastically. <BR/><BR/>I hold tremendous weight in the way someone says something as well as what they are saying. I don't think there's that much difference between the two, but that is me. I don't think the New Yawka's comment was actually him saying how we speak is irrelevant per se. <BR/><BR/>I think he was saying, hey that's just the way it is, what can I do but to accept it and keep it moving? See there? That could be exactly what you are referring to right there. One phrase, taken and understood in 2 totally different perspectives. In the end, you are probably right. There probably isn't much any of us can do about it.Luke Cagehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13129670058219925738noreply@blogger.com